please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
