either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
