piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Houston, we have a squirter
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
