sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my sisters under your porch take her home
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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