He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize