This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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