That's intense
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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