Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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