In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
