I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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