We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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