halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize