he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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