We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This is the high leading the old right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
