she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize