On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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