I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We had to coat check the pizza.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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