You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
