I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
where does the pee come out of this thing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
