All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
