why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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