it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
