Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
