theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
