Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
