She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
