Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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