it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
