so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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