Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
