and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
