i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
