no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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