just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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