Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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