Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
