Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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