I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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