the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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