I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
