I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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