She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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