Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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