Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
