Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
