what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
