So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
