My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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