Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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