we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
