i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
