I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize