So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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