kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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