OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
