Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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