Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
