i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
