Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
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