Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm really into asian looking animals
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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