Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
