I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
