Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize