it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize