i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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