Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
