Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
