We named our party play list daddy issues
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
