Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
