he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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