New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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