why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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