i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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