I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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