I feel great
I just peed on a car
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
