Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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