apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
