just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
