I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
