There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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